I never thought I would see this day. On Friday 12th March I had my last infusion. I didn’t really sleep the night before, something was clearly on my mind. I was welcomed to two beautiful messages on my phone in the morning; one from my parents and one from a work colleague. So I began my day in tears. I pretty much spent most of the day in tears. It was a bag of mixed emotions. Happy, sad, scared, anxious….I think I must have experienced every emotion.
It was a bizarre day. I expected to feel elated. But actually, I felt like my security blanket was being ripped away from me. I knew that every 3 weeks I was getting thorough checks and having a medicine injected into my veins that was killing any cancer cells in my body. What if some have been left behind? What if something else starts to grow?? These thought will forever be with me now. But for now I have to focus on the future and focus on getting back the strength so that I can fight on if anything was to ever come back.
So what next? The next 5 years are important. I will undergo regular surveillance checks (every three month) to make sure that all is ok. Then when my oncologist feels confident, we can move to every 6 months.
In this post I have included a video of my journey to document the last 15 years. The song I chose to use in the video is ‘Let it Be’ by the Beatles. It had to be a Beatles song, and Let it Be is a song that I feel sums up my journey. I have no control over what happens, I just have to let it be.
This won’t be my last post….this blog has been a lifeline for me. But this is the end of a chapter. A chapter of my life that has changed me…for the best. Everything happens for a reason. And I honestly believe that I was assigned this mountain to prove it can be moved. Xxxxx